Getting the message right: a guide for funeral flowers or sympathy cards

A heartfelt message after the passing of a loved one can be a comforting gesture. It can help with the grieving process for you as well as for the family. It can be hard to find the right words to express how you feel when it comes to saying goodbye to a loved one or expressing your condolences to a family or friend.

Finding the right message can be hard, and most people worry about what to write in their funeral flowers or card. We tend to be unsure about how to express our feelings, especially when thinking about the grieving family or friends and their loss.

It can be quite hard to express in a few simple phrases our own sadness and being support of the grieving family.

Less can often be more! Simple and traditional messages can work best.

Often, a few words can be more than enough to express your care and can offer comfort to those going through difficult time after the death of loved one. Flower cards tend to be small and don’t leave much room for a lengthy message.

Remember there’s nothing wrong with keeping your message simple.

  • Rest in peace
  • Always in our hearts
  • Sleep peacefully
  • Forever in our hearts
  • In loving memory
  • So sorry for your loss
  • With deepest sympathy
  • With fondest memories
  • Treasured memories
  • You are the brightest star in the sky
  • Rest peacefully
  • Our thoughts are with you
  • God is with you
  • In celebration of life
  • With heartfelt condolences
  • Gone but not forgotten
  • Sending love your way

If the card is larger, you may be able to write something longer and something that may resonate with you or the recipients.

  • You will be missed by us all.
  • Words can’t begin to express our sorrows.
  • Your loss leaves a huge gap in our lives.
  • We’ll always love you and miss you so much.
  • We are so sorry for your loss.
  • Our hearts go out to you and your family.
  • We can’t be with you in person, but we are with you in spirit always. 
  • A light has gone out of our lives, but our happy memories will remain.
  • When a person becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.
  • You will be deeply missed, and live on forever in our hearts.
  • Our deepest sympathies to your family during this difficult time.
  • You brought so much joy into our lives, and you made the world a better place. Rest in peace.

Many people choose to send a card instead of flowers. Having more space to share a longer message, might be more difficult than the simpler message. Below are a few options that may inspire you or reflect how you are feeling.

  • Time may pass and fade away, but the memories of you will always stay.
  • Many friends come into our lives, but only a few leave with their footprints on our hearts.
  • Like a beautiful flower, (name of deceased)’s memory will bloom in our hearts year after year.
  • There is no way to express my sorrow for you, so I’ll say it the only way I know how: I’m sorry for your loss and for your grief.
  • May the road rise to meet you and may the wind be always at your back.
  • Today is the beginning of a difficult journey of saying goodbye.

We will walk beside you as you grieve, supporting you in both sadness and the joy of memories. If you are ensuring what to write about and none of the examples above feel right to you, write from the heart. Think of what you would like to hear or have someone say to you. It could be a piece of a poem, a song lyric or even a memory that you have of the loved one.

Ultimately, writing a card to send with funeral flowers is an opportunity to say goodbye to the loved one who’s passed away — and to offer your sympathies to the family.

Don’t worry about it or overthink your choice of words. Speak from the heart and it will be the right message.

Download this article as an infosheet.